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There is really only one secret to changing other people's minds, but it's a big one: Follow practical psychology. If you heed this advice, you will get better at persuading and influencing people over the years. On the other hand, if you ignore or sidestep psychology, you will find yourself with less and less influence as time passes. Here are five ways to put practical psychology to work that you may have overlooked or not known about. Each way comes with a tactic you definitely shouldn't try, since it's proven not to work.
1. Be sincere and truthful. Don't be manipulative.
2. Appeal to what someone else already believes. Don't impose your own belief system.
3. Be aware of the other person's blind spots. Don't assume they are open-minded.
4. In general, persuade through reason, not emotion. Don't assume that emotions aren't in play, however.
5. Make the other person feel right. Don't make them feel wrong.
You will never to be able to control people, but you will be able to let people control themselves in ways that benefit you. If you tell people what to do, they may not listen to you and will probably resent you. You must get people to do what they want to do, while you influence their control over themselves, There are two ways to get people to do what you want. The first, behavior modification, allows you to change a person's undesirable behaviors using positive reinforcement. The second method of influencing is reality modification, and we'll concentrate most of our attention on this. This influencing technique is successful because of the way in which your requests are presented.
