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You reverse engineer the drama and try to trace back the sequence of events if it's possible. Definately you will figure out what went wrong especially if you do it with somebody else. This way, you will have two minds to think and a better chance to understand the real causes that ended you up in that critical situation.
I am not aware of a better approach!
Sorry, your question is a general one, if you go more specific then I am sure many would be glad to give you better answers.
