How to overcome my shyness & how to increase my confident level?

Confidence comes from knowing.  Once you have mastered your product, your confidence will grow, and once your confidence grow, your shyness will fade away.

if you arenot confident on you are job .its simple meaning lack of job knowleage so improve you are job skill and communication skill if it is.

make a frinds lot,toke to people.practising softskills,have to update,proper dressup.

1. Act confidently. 

Confidence comes through action, learning, practice, and mastery. Remember when you learned how to ride a bike? It was terrifying at first, but after you just went for it and tried it, you got it, and felt confident. Social confidence works the same way.

Feeling anxious is not the problem; avoiding social interactions is the problem. Eliminate avoidance and you will overcome your anxiety.

2. Engage. 

This means participating in small talk in the checkout line and talking to strangers at bars, stores, sporting events, and the gym. Additionally, approach the individuals to whom you are attracted romantically. Talk to them. Ask them to dance. Ask them out on dates.

Life is short. Who cares if you get rejected? There are seven billion people on this planet. You’re not expected to like or be liked by all of them. Take some chances and put yourself out there to meet new people.

3. Try new things, even if they make you anxious. 

Join a club, a sports team, or an improv class. Pick up a new project, take on a difficult task at work, or learn a new skill. Do something to get out of your comfort zone.

Part of overcoming shyness is about developing confidence in several areas of your life and not letting anxiety, fear of failure, fear of rejection, or fear of humiliation get in your way. By practicing new activities, you are confronting your fear of the unknown and learning to handle that anxiety more effectively.

4. Talk. 

Start practicing giving speeches or presentations and telling jokes or stories at every opportunity. Be more talkative and expressive in all areas of your life. Whether you’re at work, with friends, with strangers, or walking down the street, you can practice talking more openly. Let your voice and your ideas be heard.

Confident people are not preoccupied with whether everyone is going to like what they have to say. They speak their mind because they want to share, engage, and connect with others. You can do this too. Anxiety and shyness are not reasons to stay quiet.

5. Make yourself vulnerable. 

A fear of being judged contributes to social anxiety and shyness. The only way to overcome this fear is to make yourself vulnerable. Practice doing this with the people you are close to and can trust. You might realize the more you do it, the closer you feel to others and the more pleasure and meaning you get out of those relationships. This will lead to increased confidence in yourself and in social interactions.

Being vulnerable requires a willingness to let others see the real you. Be proud of who you are. Being genuine and vulnerable is often the quality that others will appreciate the most about you.

6. Practice displaying confident body language. 

Make eye contact when talking to someone. Walk with your head held high. Project your voice clearly and effectively. Shake hands. Give hugs. Stay in close proximity to others.

7. Be mindful. 

Mindfulness has been defined simply as awareness. Wake up. Be present to all of your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memories in any given moment. There is no part of your experience that you have to run from, escape, or avoid. Learn to appreciate yourself and the world around you, including those “panicky” thoughts and feelings, and just notice them without judgment.

When you are fully present in the moment, you will realize that social interactions are not something you need to avoid. You will perform better because you are actually paying attention to the conversation and the cues in your environment. With practice, you can continually incorporate and improve upon your social skills that you learn from the world around you, ultimately making you feel more confident.

The Three Components of Shyness

• Excessive Self-Consciousness – you are overly aware of yourself, particularly in social situations.
• Excessive Negative Self-Evaluation – you tend to see yourself negatively.
• Excessive Negative Self-Preoccupation – you tend to pay too much attention to all the things you are doing wrong when you are around other people.
• Why Do We Experience Shyness?

  We all experience shyness differently and on varying degrees. However, root cause can be boiled down to one of the following reasons:

  1. Weak Self Image

  This is especially true to our experiences in high school. We would believe in the fallacy that our unique qualities were not interesting, cool or worthy of anyone’s admiration.We would try to fit in with everyone else, resulting in us not feeling like ourselves.

  • Amanda: Looking back I’m not even sure I knew what my unique abilities were, I just knew that everybody else seemed to be a cooler, more interesting person than I was, so I tried to imitate them…poorly.:)
  • Tina: I thought of myself as cool, because I was loud, and worked very hard at keeping that image. It was of course, a false image that I worked hard to keep. It was exhausting and I was exceedingly self conscious. Even though people didn’t view me as shy, but I felt shy most of the time with a lot of built up anxiety. Turns out, the ‘cool’ kids themselves have weak self images and wanted to fit in with everyone else.

  2. Pre-occupation with Self

  When we’re around other people, we become extremely sensitive to what we’re doing, as if we’ve been put on center stage. This creates anxiety and makes us question our every move. Our focus centers around ourselves and particularly on “what I was doing wrong”. This can cause a downward spiral.

  • Amanda: Coupled with a weak self image,I didn’t thinkIwas doing anything right! And this would start a cycle that I couldn’t get out of. What I understand now is that is that most people are not looking at me with the detail thatI was looking at myself.
  • Tina: I too was very sensitive to my every move around other people. My senses were heightened to the way I talked, walked, laughed, etc. My focus was on how to not screw up in front of other people, and this made me very nervous. What I understand now is that everyone is so caught up with their own insecurities that they hardly notice yours.

  3. Labeling

  When we label ourselves as a shy person, we psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. We may say to ourselves, “I am a shy person, than it must be true that I am shy. This is how I am, and this is the way things are.” When we label something, that thing has the perception of being fixed and therefore we must live up to the expectations of the labeling.

  • Amanda: I was known by others as a shy person, or a quiet person, and this perception held me captive at times. People expected me to be a certain way and so I was. And knowing that other people regarded me as shy, in addition to my not wanting to be shy, resulted in great anxiety when I was with people. I really wanted to show myself to others when I was around them, but it was easy to simply go along with what others expected from me.
  • Tina: Deep down, I felt the anxieties from shyness often, yet, when I’m around people, I had to live up to the expectations that I wasn’t shy. My experiences with shyness would manifest in unusual ways, like when I’m ordering food, when I call someone on the phone, or speak to strangers. I would never let that side of myself show, but I do experience it. In those moments, I can hear myself say, ‘I am shy.’
• How to Overcome Shyness

• 1. Understand Your Shyness

  Seek to understand your unique brand of shyness and how that manifests in your life. Understand what situation triggers this feeling? And what are you concerned with at that point?

  2. Turning Self Consciousness into Self Awareness

  Recognize that the world is not looking at you. Besides, most people are too busy looking at themselves. Instead of watching yourself as if you are other people, bring your awareness inwards. Armed with your understanding of what makes you shy, seek within yourself and become the observing presence of your thoughts. Self awareness is the first step towards any change or life improvement.

  3. Find Your Strengths

  We all have unique qualities and different ways of expressing ourselves. It’s important to know and fully accept the things we do well, even if they differ from the norm. If everyone was the same, the world would be a pretty boring place.

  • Find something you are good at and focus on doing it. An identifiable strength will boost your natural self esteem and your ego, helping you better identify with yourself. It is a short term fix, but will give you the confidence you need to break your self-imposed barrier of fear.
  • See how your unique strength gives you an advantage. For example, Amanda is a naturally quiet person who prefers to spend time alone. She learned that she listens better than others and notices things that others miss in conversations. She also discovered that her alone time has given her a better understanding of herself.

  4. Learn to Like Yourself

  Practice appreciating yourself and liking the unique expression that is you. Write a love letter to yourself, do things you enjoy, give gratitude for your body and its effortless functions, spend quality time getting to know yourself, go on a self-date.

  5. Not Conforming

  Trying to fit in like everyone else is exhausting and not very much fun. Understand that it is okay to be different. In fact, underlying popular kid’s public displays of coolness, they too are experiencing insecurities, self-consciousness, and awkwardness. Accept that you may not be perceived as the most popular social butterfly, and you may not want to be either. At the end of the day, being popular will not make you happy. Accepting your unique qualities can set you free.

  6. Focus on Other People

  Rather than focusing on your awkwardness in social situations, focus on other people and what they have to say. Become interested in learning about others, and probe them to talk about themselves. You can try pondering the question while interacting: What is it about this person that I like?

  7. Releasing Anxiety through Breath

   

   

  Anxiety and fear can feel overwhelming if you are practicing to become more assertive in order to overcome this fear.

  • One simple technique to calm this anxiety into manageable bites is taking deep breaths with your eyes closed, while concentrating on just your breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly while clearing out all thoughts.
  • Another technique is from yoga: counting as you inhale and then as you exhale. Slowly leveling out your inhale and exhale duration. Example, 4 count for in and 4 for out. Once your breaths are leveled, add an extra count during your exhale. This means slowing down your exhale by just a tad as compared to your inhale. Continue for a few minutes until you are comfortable, than add another count to your exhale. You can easily do this in the bathroom, or in a spare room of when you need it.

  8. Releasing Anxiety through Movement

  One way of viewing anxiety is that it is blocked energy that needs to be released. We can release this energy through physical movement.

  • Exercises like jogging or walking will help to re-channel some of the blocked energies, but also helps by pulling you out of the situation and shifts your state of mind. This refreshed state of mind will help by adding perspectives to things.
  • Another effective technique is a simple muscle meditation/exercise. Sit down or lie down. Bring awareness to every part of your body, starting from your toes and moving up your body to the top of your head. At every part of your body, tighten the muscles at the center of awareness for 3-5 seconds, and then relax. Repeat this until you get to the top of your head. Remember to breathe.

   

  9. Visualization

  Visualizing yourself in the situation as a confident and happy person helps to shape your perception of yourself when you are actually in the situation. Close your eyes, sit back somewhere relaxing, listen to some relaxing music, imagine yourself in a scene or situation and see yourself the way you would like to be. In this scene, how do you feel? What do you hear? Do you smell anything? Are you moving? What do you see? Get all your senses involved to make it real.

  10. Affirmation

  Words can carry incredible energy. What we repeatedly tell ourselves, gets heard by our unconscious mind, and it acts accordingly. If we repeatedly tell ourselves that we are incapable, and too shy to do anything, we will become increasingly aware of evidence to back up this ‘fact’, and our actions will always match what we tell ourselves. Similarly, if we repeatedly tell ourselves that we are capable, confident, and wonderful human beings, our unconscious mind will likely surface the awareness that gives evidence to this new ‘fact’. While, we can’t lie to ourselves, positive visualization and affirmation are helpful in placing us along the road of positive thought patterns.

  11. Do Not Leave an Uncomfortable Situation

  When we leave shy situations, what we are really doing is reinforcing our shyness. Instead, face the situation square in the face. Turn the fearful situation into a place of introspection and personal growth. Become the observer and dig into yourself, answer the questions: why do I feel this way? What caused me to feel this way? Can there be an alternative explanation to what is happening?

  12. Accept Rejection

  Accept the possibility that we can be rejected and learning to not take it personally. Remember, you are not alone and we all experience rejections. It is part of life and part of the learning process. The key lies in how you handle rejections when they come. It helps to be mentally prepared before they happen:

  • Never take it personally. It was not your fault. It just wasn’t meant to be. The scenario was not the best fit for you.
  • Find the lesson – what did you learn? There is a lesson ingrained in every situation. And through these life lessons lies the potential for you to become a better person, a stronger person. Nothing is lost if you can find the lesson. See these as the blessings in disguise.
  • Move on. Recognize that when you fall into self-pity, you are not moving forward. Nothing will be changed from your self-pity. When you start to recognize this, it becomes clear that only energy is wasted while we feed to our problem-seeking ego. Pick yourself up, dust off the dirt and move on to the next thing. Try again, try again, try again. It will pay off!

  13. Relinquish Perfectionism

  When we compare ourselves, we tend to compare ourselves with the most popular person in the room or we compare ourselves with celebrities we see on TV. We set excessive expectations by comparing ourselves unreasonably to people unlike ourselves and wonder “why can’t I be that?” We carry with us a vision of another’s perfection and expect ourselves to fit that exact mold. And when we don’t fit, we beat ourselves up for it, wondering why we are such failures. You see, the problem lies in our emphasis on fitting into a vision we have created in our minds, which is not us. Let go of this perfect image, create visions of yourself out of the Being from who you are, naturally; and let that expression flow, naturally.

Being shy is humane. Though there is nothing wrong in being shy in general, but one should not let the shyness to become an impedement in ones professional advancement.

Getting your basics strong & having clear concept of your profession and developing soft skills will make you confident in your professional approach and your approach in general.

By practising softskills and improving knowledge base and also overcoming the fears, going smart and giving proper attention, what people says about you.

Dear this is the most common problem and it has a very easy solution you should do presentation in front of mirror and start doing part time tuition jobs 

u need to have more self confidence , u r well informed so stop worry and go ! 

u can use some social books 

Dasarathi:

I can only suggest.... and what i  suggest is

1. Stop being affraid of people

2. Know... there is no question as stupid question

3. Do not feel insulted...if some one things you don;t know....

4. Ask and learn... learn and share with people

5. Take a topic of your interest an start discussing with people... asking their opinion etc.

be consistent... 

hope that helps you out.

Regards

Zaheer Waheed

mORE TRAINING AND COMMUNICATIONS PRACTICE

Shyness is psychological...dont want to talk, act,touch etc because it may turn out bad.

Everyone started from zero, nobody started that he knows this and that.....its a process of learning ....ups, downs, okay, not okay...if its not good there is always next time to do good because we learn from those...