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What do you think of my poetry? its just a sample of my writings, would love the advice :) .thanks

It sounds like the end is near With all you see and hear Human nature getting aggressive The cavemen didn’t accept submission But no worries it won't be fast it will take forever Lucky us we get to see in slow motion new battles at the old arena Darkness prevail the sun is running away It’s the age of blood we are getting back where we started from With each step foreword we turn Marce is pleased with the score Beautiful art of blood Doesn’t gives a fright But it’s a fact of life Everything ends and dies So here we are …..Stand and watch …..The new battles at the old arena Why not ….its our heritage …… old gods….new games…..just don’t bother to think ……

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Question added by Shaimaa Hawas , English instructor , Not courses
Date Posted: 2014/02/06
Iman El-Ashry
by Iman El-Ashry , Freelance Copywriter & Social Media Specialist , Self Employed

I'm sorry I don't feel it's poetry. Try to read poetry for famous poets and your own writing will be enhanced. Poetry has to make music when you read it not necessarily by rhyme plus balance but at least one of them should be considered.

Zahid Hussein
by Zahid Hussein , President , Sustainable Resource Foundation (SuRF)

THese are random thoughts....or shall I say your own "sensitive reactions" to the external environment arounfd you. It is not poetry as such...........Please try that each verse indicates a complete meaning or is coherently a part of the other verse to be meaningful. Get hold of good poetrry to read and you would be able to "externaise" your internal feelings in a much more expressive way. Don't give upp, you do have the fire in your belly:)- 

Deleted user
by Deleted user

Hi Shimaa, I quite like it but would like it even more if I knew what the inspiration for your poem was. I think that writing poetry is a very personal thing and is sometimes difficult for other people to fully understand. One of the most poignant and meaningful pieces that I think illustrates this point is:

"They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn;

At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them".

This was written by a Canadian soldier during the1st World War and is a tribute to all those who died. The "reason/sentiment" behind it makes this poem clearly understood.

Keep up the good work.

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