Is polite negotiating as effective as normal negotiating? Why or why not? When should we use each one?

A negotiation is “a courtship, a dance,” says Michael Wheeler, a professor at Harvard Business School and author of The Art of Negotiation: How to Improvise Agreement in a Chaotic World. “But you don’t have to compromise and settle for less in order to maintain good relations.

Here is the top 10 list of hardball tactics in negotiation to watch out for, from the authors of Beyond Winning.

1. Extreme demands followed up by small, slow concessions.

• Don’t let a strong demand “anchor” your expectations. Be clear going in about your own demands, alternatives, and the bottom line – and don’t be rattled by an aggressive opponent

2. Commitment tactics.

• Your opponent may say that his hands are tied or that he has only limited discretion in negotiating. Make sure that these commitment tactics are real.

3. Take-it-or-leave-it offers.

• Offers are never nonnegotiable. Try ignoring the demand and focus on the content of the offer instead.

4. Inviting unreciprocated offers.

• When you make an offer, wait for a counteroffer before reducing your demands. Don’t bid against yourself.

5. Trying to make you flinch.

• Your opponent keeps making demands, waiting for you to reach your breaking point. Don’t fall for it.

6. Personal insults and feather ruffling.

• These personal attacks can feed on your insecurities and make you vulnerable. Take a break if you feel yourself getting flustered, or name their tactics.

7. Bluffing, puffing, and lying.

• Exaggerating and misrepresenting facts can throw you off guard. Be polite but skeptical.

8. Threats and warnings.

• Want to know how to deal with threats? The first step is recognizing threats and oblique warnings as the tactics they are, which can help you stand up to them.

9. Belittling your alternatives.

• Have a firm sense of your best alternative to a negotiated agreement (BATNA) and don’t let your opponent shake your resolve.

10. Good cop, bad cop.

• One of your opponents is reasonable; the other is tough. Realize that they are working together, and get your own bad cop if you need one.

At the same time, while you could leverage these hardball negotiation tactics yourself, remember that making the other side hostile could create long-term problems. Knowing about these tactics and the motivations that underlie them, a negotiator can effectively maneuver herself at the bargaining table while defusing hard bargaining negotiation strategies without harming the relationship or the negotiation.

 It should be closed door for equal parties. Because making a good bargain needs surprised elements and a clear vision.  Negotiation should be based on personal with experience. Focus on "give and take" with a winning hands technique. 

The practice of a professional negotiation is based on building rapport as a first step on the stair of influence someone. So, be polite, genuine and active listener.

to get what you negotiating for  you have be polite

 In your question, I do not understand though what you refer to as "normal" negotiating. However it is important to note that  negotiation tactics are not cast in stone and there is no one size fits all. Negotiation tactics are a product of the following elements; the participants, nature of contract being negotiated for, importance to the participating parties, bargaining power of the participants, etc.

Hi Lina, sorry about my delay to answer your question.

First of all, I would like to know what is a "normal negotiation for you", but I going to try to figure it out...

I really think that negotiation is an art to adapt to any person, situations and topics who are discussing to, we need to face a negotiation time with information and knowledge about our possibilities, the possibilities and needs of our interlocutor and what we can obtain for mutual convenience. If we start being aggressive or not tolerant with our interlocutor, we are sentenced to fail. That is why I think that all our negotiations must begin and be maintained in the possible, within the kindness and positive forms, in order to get what we want... Finally, be a polite negociator always works.

I hope this ideas answer your question.

Best regards

Hassan Saleh

·        e commitment tactics are real.

3. Take-it-or-leave-it offers.

·        Offers are never nonnegotiable. Try ignoring the demand and focus on the content of the offer instead.

4. Inviting unreciprocated offers.

·        When you make an offer, wait for a counteroffer before reducing your demands. Don’t bid against yourself.

5. Trying to make you flinch.

·        Your opponent keeps making demands, waiting for you to reach your breaking point. Don’t fall for it.

6. Personal insults and feather ruffling.

·        These personal attacks can feed on your insecurities and make you vulnerable. Take a break if you feel yourself getting flustered, or name their tactics.

7. Bluffing, puffing, and lying.

·        Exaggerating and misrepresenting facts can throw you off guard. Be polite but skeptical.

8. Threats and warnings.

·        Want to know how to deal with threats? The first step is recognizing threats and oblique warnings as the tactics they are, which can help you stand up to them.

9. Belittling your alternatives.

·        Have a firm sense of your best alternative to a negotiated agreement (BATNA) and don’t let your opponent shake your resolve.

10. Good cop, bad cop.

·        One of your opponents is reasonable; the other is tough. Realize that they are working together, and get your own bad cop if you need one.

Before going for any negotiation, there should be enough preparation about what you going to present to your opponent and you should have an outline figure of what they might ask you. Do not treat your opponent easy. You should know your limits, and should have offer that can be never exempted by the opponents. So you should start negations from the lowest possible offer and bring the opponent down from their demand to at least at least par with your limits. Give them a fair offer below your limits and take the best of their demand.